Oh Canada!

Oh, Canada: Mountie helps beavers on Malahat highway
TIMES COLONIST
MARCH 25, 2016 08:34 PM

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http://www.timescolonist.com/news/local/oh-canada-mountie-helps-beavers-on-malahat-highway-1.2217661

A pair of Canadian symbols squared off on the Malahat Friday morning in a showdown that triggered a serge … er … surge of national pride.

The Integrated Road Safety Unit was set up at a location about 8:30 a.m. when officers noticed a motorcyclist frantically waving at traffic a short distance away.

“We didn’t quite realize what was going on,” said Const. Andy Dunstan of Victoria police. “So one of my colleagues went down there.”

It should be noted here that, because the team is integrated, the colleague was, in fact, a member of the RCMP, who quickly recognized that a pair of beavers was crossing the road.

Dunstan said the first beaver disappeared into the underbrush, but the second plopped down in the right-hand lane.

“My colleague’s there, he’s got the lights on. He sounds the siren a few times. He gets out and hisses at it, and the beaver kind of hisses back. It was just being obstinate.”

With traffic backing up, the buck-toothed blockade eventually moved along of its own accord.

“What can be more iconic than an RCMP officer — a Mountie — moving along this great Canadian symbol, the beaver,” Dunstan said. “It was perfect.”

– See more at: http://www.timescolonist.com/news/local/oh-canada-mountie-helps-beavers-on-malahat-highway-1.2217661#sthash.F5530Gko.dpuf

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Ikean’t believe it!

1.7 million dollars. That’s how much a Swedish Chauffeur working at the United Nations is claiming in damages for injuries sustained after falling off a ladder while assembling an Ikea wardrobe for his employer.

No word yet how many husbands will now have legal precedent to sue their wives for forcing them to buy the self-assembly flatpacks conceived by the devil.

State of “The State of the Union”

If you want to know what’s wrong with the current state of the self-proclaimed “Greatest Country in the World!” all you have to know is that seven states currently have “state guns.” That’s right. Just seven. Seven out of fifty. Fourteen percent! You can bet they all have state flowers and state birds and even state flags. But in the land of the free, home of the brave, with a constitutional right to walk around short-sleeved (bare arms), only seven states have bothered to recommend a gun for their citizens to shoot squirrels, trespassers and commie-terrorist-nazis with. Meanwhile, Yemen has a greater-guns-per citizen ratio than the “most powerful nation in the world.” Yemen! (which has no need to nominate a state gun, what with every male over fourteen sporting a Kalashnikov over their shoulder, nicely complementing the jhamibiya dagger on their belt. Now that I think of it, maybe that’s the problem right there; how many daggers do you see on men’s belts these days? Men? Hell, they’d make nice fashion accessories for any gender, what with their ivory handles and jewel-encrusted hilts.