Dear Vlad the Hubris,
After the recent pardons of the Arctic 30, Khodorovsky and the Pussy Riot Heroes, it is clear that there is nothing that you cannot do. Your power is immense and unimpeachable.
I implore you then, to have the unfair ban imposed by the local Kennebec Falls Legion against Uncle Bogdan from competing in the New Year cribbage tournament declared null and void. As you know, it was imposed by jealous factions of the Dothraki and Romulan coalition jealous of Uncle Bogdan’s skill in pegging.
Only you, Great Vlad the Flatulent, can nullify this great injustice done to the man often called “Twenty Nine” by his skill in achieving perfect hands.